I have been taking care of my mom for about 10 years. Ten years is a long time. I don’t know where the time went. As time moves on and I see my mom age, I know that I don’t want my children to become my caregivers.
I have my reasons and saying it out loud makes it seem like I wish I wasn’t my mother’s caregiver. I wouldn’t change being her caregiver for anything. I just don’t want my children to have the same experience as me. I will make sure they know this.
We all have different preferences when it comes to what we want when it comes to our livelihood. One of my doctors told me that he wants to be denied food, water, and medicine if he ever got to the point where his mind was gone. My response to him was, “seriously?” He said he was dead serious. The room got a little quite.
“I should probably get that written down on paper,” he said. “I want my wishes known.”
THERE ARE a lot of different options out there. Some people choose aggressive treatment, some choose hospice, and some people choose no treatment. Some people make no choices and leave it up to loved ones to make the decision.
When my mom was 86 she stopped breathing and they asked me right then and there, did I want them to try to resuscitate her.
“Yes, yes, please hurry,” was my response.
Have you ever seen someone receiving CPR besides the movies? It is violent and painful looking. After she was revived, they put her on a ventilator. Some people weren’t happy with my decision. While some people weren’t happy with my decision, I didn’t care since my mom had put me in charge of making those decisions.
She was up and responding off the ventilator two long days later.
I AM GLAD I made that decision. I hope I never have to make a decision like that again. I don’t want my children or my husband to make that decision for me. I have made my wishes known.
No matter what you want, you need to let your wishes be known. I am sure every single person reading this has known a family in disagreement on what to do for a family member when they are in the hospital. This can be avoided by letting your wishes be known or assigning a person to make those decisions for you.
© 2014, MaLu Bradford Beyonce,
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You may reach MaLu Bradford Beyonce at email@example.com