To Spank or Not
by MALU BRADFORD BEYONCE
Aug 01, 2013 | 1618 views | 0 0 comments | 28 28 recommendations | email to a friend | print
A YOUNG MOTHER asked me today if I had ever spanked my son. I told her no. She asked me this shortly after she had popped one of her two children. I then asked her if she had ever tried time outs. I think she thought I was against spanking. I actually said, you probably don’t have the patience to use time outs, huh? Her response was that time outs don’t work.

I was spanked and I had time outs. I have been watching old episodes of the show, “Super Nanny.” I really enjoy looking at her time out techniques. I plan to try some of them.

My mom did most of the spanking in our household. She was really good at it. I was really good at deserving them also. There were different levels of spanking. There was the pop, the swat, and the switch.

The pop was used in public. It was like a warning signal. For example, if I kept touching something I wasn’t supposed to. My hand would get a swift pop. I have to admit, the pop was effective. It also often triggered instant tears even though it wasn’t really painful.

The swat was used more in private. Once I remember being at a waterpark and my mother told me to stop running. I didn’t. She swiftly picked me up once she caught up to me and took me to the bathroom. I got several swats on my bottom. I didn’t run anymore.

The switch was for major infractions. My mother would go outside and get a slim piece of wood and whip my legs. I hated it It didn’t happen often but when it did, I usually ended up crying so hard that a nap soon ensued.

TIME OUTS were usually given to me when I was too hyper. My mom or dad would take me over to the brown wooden chair and I would stare at the wall. I hated it but I always calmed down. My mother’s spankings and time outs were never detrimental to me. They gave me discipline.

I know a lot of people are against spanking and consider it abuse. Here is the thing. I once had a stepmother that would do cruel things to me. I was about eight years old and my father had returned from overseas with a new wife.

If I left a Barbie on the floor, she would throw it away. Once I broke one of her coffee mugs while she was gone and hid the handle and put the mug back on the shelf. When she asked me what happened to the handle I told her I didn’t know. The next day I found my Snoopy piggy bank broken. When I asked her what happened to the money she said she didn’t know.

IF I WANTED attention and bothered her while she was busy it had dire consequences. She would tell me I was spoiled and didn’t appreciate the toys I had since obviously I rather bother her instead of playing with my toys. She would go to my room and pick up a toy and throw it off the balcony. I was never allowed to retrieve the item. Instead I was given a time out and forced and to look out at the discarded item.

I would have rathered had a spanking or even the switch. I still can’t see Snoopy without thinking about my bank. I know my examples are extreme however they are true. I consider my stepmother’s discipline to be abusive. She rarely spanked me. Her discipline techniques, I believe, were her alternative to spankings.

I’m not saying you should or shouldn’t spank. I am saying the way you choose to discipline your children can have long lasting effects. What kind of effect do you want your discipline to have.

© 2013, MaLu Bradford Beyonce,

All Rights Reserved.

You may reach MaLu Bradford Beyonce at malubeyonce@gmail.com
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