I like being in charge of my birthday. I don’t want to be disappointed. Sounds selfish, I know. I didn’t always feel that way. Once in college my friend, Gloria, came and picked me up for an outing. When I got to the car she was looking at a piece of paper. When I inquired about what it was she said it was her to do and want list for her birthday. I thought it was strange but the more I thought about it, I like it.
The following birthday I took Gloria’s lead. I made a list of everything I wanted to do for my birthday and I made it happen. I had help from friends and loved ones but it turned out to be one of the best birthdays ever.
Looking at Gloria’s list changed my life. I learned that when you want something, you have to ask for it. I think a lot of people beat around the bush or make hints about something they want. My theory is if you want it, ask for it.
My nephew had a really bad habit of not asking for what he wanted. If we were at a store, instead of saying will you buy me this, he would say, I know I can’t have this. My response would always be, well if you know you can’t have it, I guess you can’t. He eventually learned to ask for items he wanted. I didn’t always grant his wishes but I told him, you will never get what you want if you don’t ask.
I DON’T want to sound high and mighty. I struggle with this theory myself often. I find myself practicing before I make a phone call to ask for something. However, I have learned it is always better to ask.
Once at a hotel restaurant I encountered a waiter who wasn’t afraid to ask for what he wanted. The waiter was nice and did a good job. When my husband showed up and paid the bill he didn’t leave a 15% tip. The waiter looked at the tip turned around and said, “Was my service not up to the standard 15%?” He then said, “I think it was and if you thought so, I would like the standard tip.”
I was shocked but it worked. I felt guilty. He was right. Had he not said anything he would not gotten the standard tip. My husband and I couldn’t believe he called us out on it but in the end the waiter got what he wanted.
SOMETIMES you have to demand what you want even if you come off looking bad. Once when my mother was in the ICU, I noticed she was picking at her central line. I asked them if they thought they should strap down her hands. The nurse said he didn’t think it was necessary. The next morning they were late opening the doors for visiting hours; very late. Turns out my mother had pulled out her central line and there was blood everywhere. She could have seriously injured herself. While I was talking to the head nurse I told her I had mentioned it the night before she said, “you should have demanded it.”
That was a great piece of advice. I should have demanded it. I have never regretted asking for something. If my mother would have hurt herself, I would have regretted it for the rest of my life.
Next time you want something; don’t beat around the bush, drop hints, or just hope they will offer it to you. Just ask.
© 2013, MaLu Bradford Beyonce,
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You may reach MaLu Bradford Beyonce at email@example.com